Comic 293 - The Obvious Answer
28th Jun 2013, 10:03 PM in A Big Fight
The Obvious Answer
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User comments:
Actually, that is a non-answer!
I wouldn't call that a non answer. I'm not a soldier, but I wasn't always a good person. I've seen things that no one should ever have seen and things that should never have happened to anyone. The only thing I'll say about it is that I was the first person to find her. I was pretty desensitized at that point but even I had nightmares, still do occasionally. Some things you don't share. Ever.
He trusts her and will accept it. Though he may not like it. My 2 cents.
JasperWB
I don't know exactly how the ports work, but I have a feeling permanently closing that means a lot more than protecting him or anyone else from bad memories. Culturally and however their romance works. She can never really be with someone like they are used to.
JasperWB
Also is it just me, and I know the coloring throughout the comic has been evolving, but Next looks like he got a real tan. He looks so...grownup now.
Thanks JasperWB, for expressing that realization, it is exactly what I was thinking about.
I am a Soldier, more appropriately a Warrior, this is the first time I've said anything because it is the only time that anything has come so close to home. When you are willing to sacrifice everything, even what identifies you as a human being, to accomplish the goals that are set before you, you inadvertently, yet so intentionally, lose a part of yourself, that there is no going back to the way that you were as those most close to you remember you. And so in doing so, you create something in your mind that is like the way you used to be, and that's the way you act around everyone else, with the greatest fear, that one day, someone will know what you have become, what you have had to do to WIN. Not just do what had to be done, not just what would get the job done, but winning, now and forever.If I could close of that part of my brain so that no one would ever know what I have had to sacrifice to be me, I would do it in a heartbeat, less than that if I could. So despite the fact that I'm a man, and obviously on the opposite side of this situation, I know exactly how that feels, it's not a secret, it's the truth, it's what you are, but you don't want anyone to know, but all they have to do is watch you closely, how you live, how you deal with things, to know that your not the same person they once knew. The worst part is, most people figure it out rather quickly, and for whatever their reasons are, they ignore it, you know it, they know it, and they just don't care.
Sheela
Hrm .. even when things don't change who you are, and don't have to pretend to be your old self .. there are still things so bad that you can't share it with others.

Don't be too sorry that you have changed though, it's what kept you in one piece. Others who struggle to remain unchanged often snap.
You will probablby have seen that firsthand.
Are you sure it is because they don't care? I read what you typed, and my reaction would have been, once I noticed, to be very careful about pushing you wrong, because I wouldn't want to corner you, or hurt you further. For at least a good while, I would 'ignore' the flaws in your coping mechanism because I cared too much, not that I didn't care.

I hope that if I end up having someone like you in my life, that they would trust me enough to explain what was truly going on with them. Maybe it would be a good idea, or a bad one. I don't know. But I would very much want to make the attempt.
The not caring portion goes goes both ways, but not in the usual way, both deal with the fact that they know you, they care for you, and they want what's best for you. They either care so much that they want to know everything that went wrong and help you through a situation, despite any effect it may have on them. The other side knows just as much, but rather than look for a solution, they're just there when you need them. I guess the negative to this, is that, you can't justify what you've done, or become, on any level, so you can't see why anyone else could instead of you. They haven't been there, they didn't look into the precipice and dive in head first, there was no hard choice, and yet they don't care, they don't want to make that choice, they just want you to live a normal life, there is no understanding, there is no process of discernment. Just blind love.

In relation to this specific comic, this culture, this society, revolves around who knows what, who can see the future, who can play the game to win before someone else even knows they're playing it. That requires more trust than just friends, lovers, companions, it's comradery, it's knowing that when you don't look to your left or your right, there's already someone there covering you, a trust that you look out for them and they for you and no one misses a step.

So, in having a neurological link that allows full sensory and mimicry access to you, as a unique being, is the last step in that line of trust. You can't go any further, there are no secrets, there are no truths, there is just you, and them. To close that off isn't just a sign that you don't want anyone to see what you've seen, or experience the horrors of war, it means you don't trust anyone, you can't ever love them to their fullest because you will always have a secret, you will always have a dagger at their back, there is no love.

Solitary life. No one to ever call your own. No comrades. No lovers.

The flower always withers without close and careful attention.